Neutropenia or bust

So I believe that I neglected to mention that I have a disease called Cyclic Neutropenia which takes up a good portion of my life. I was born with this ailment, fortunately enough for me. I don't really understand it so well but basically Neutropenia is a reduced number or lack of neutrophils(a type of blood cell that defend the body against bacterial infections). I have the Cyclic version of this which means that the amount of neutrophils that I have varies depending upon where I am in my cycle. My personal cycle runs within approximately a 14-day period. So it takes me 14 days to get from a good amount of neutrophils to a low amount of neutrophils and back again. I was born with absolutely no neutrophils in my body so I spent my first couple weeks in an incubator receiving frequent visits from needles wherever they could fit them into my tiny body. I grew up basically being in and out of the hospital, becoming stronger and stronger as I became older.
Since I have inherited this from my father, who was generous enough to share it with me, the two of us have a special understanding of each other. I am blessed to know someone close to me who can understand what I go through. The symptoms I feel when I 'go low' vary. Every time I go low it is different in an indescribable way. The common symptoms for me are: fatigue, fever, aches, mouth ulcers, infection of any cuts and scrapes one may have on their body, and I am sure more than what I can think of. Sometimes I swear I can almost feel my bone marrow squeezing(because that is where the white blood cells aka neutrophils are made). I take a shot of GCSF every night which keeps me going. Without it I am fairly certain I would not be alive today. I am very fortunate to have it but at the same time I am so dependent on it and it makes me only halfway better it feels. I now do not belong in either the sick world or the well world. I am stuck in between and it can be so frustrating because I never know which one I am going to be in tomorrow or  a week from now or six months from now. It makes it hard to make commitments and plan ahead. Anyway I will post about this more often because it is a large part of my life whether I want it to be or not...The top pic is of the needles I use and the vile that holds my magic medicine, the second one is of my name tag from a Neutropenia convention last summer, and the third is the little card that I keep in my wallet in case I have an emergency. Just wanted to provide some visuals.
<3
P.S. More information/donations/success stories go here .